


Wincest and weed

by spangelbanger



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bottom Dean, First Time, Gun Kink, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, Top Sam, dub con, dub con for drug use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-06-01
Packaged: 2018-06-05 23:21:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6727522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spangelbanger/pseuds/spangelbanger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>okay so this was an idea, that kind of got a little out of control.<br/>Dean decides for Sam's Birthday to get him high, to make sure Sam tries it at least once. Which leads to watching syncing Wizard of Oz and Darkside of the moon, which leads to a discussion of How weird it is that they know Dorothy. which leads to a discussion about the supernatural books and the fans of the books, and that leads to sex.<br/>all of it totally makes sense, except the sex, that doesn't make any fucking sense.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

I-70 between Kansas and Colorado is kind of bland. Flat land on all sides, a sun bleached gray highway and endless blue skies in all directions. A brown sign between two stunted trees marks the point between the states. Other than that, there's really nothing special to mark the difference. Dean turned down the radio when they pass the sign. He'd been thinking about it pretty much since he knew where the case was, but now they were across the line he figured it was as good a time as any to suggest it,“When the case is finished we could check out the head shops..”

“You're kidding right?” Sam asked, leaning back against the door.

Dean grinned instead of answering the question, “I mean we should do it at least once while we're here, since it's legal.” It wasn't like he'd never smoked before, at one point he'd been fairly good at finding the parties where weed was as common as beer, but over the years alcohol had become his drug of choice.

Sam rolled his eyes, “just because it's legal doesn't mean I want to do it. Besides since when does legality even matter to you anyways.”

“It doesn't,” Dean agreed, “but I just thought,” he shook his head, “forget it, you want to keep that stick up your ass, fine.” he'd thought they might be able to have an afternoon to relax to forget all the bullshit that had been thrown their way recently. He thought it might be funny to see Sam stoned off his ass if nothing else.

“Seriously, you want to go get high, now in the middle of everything that's going on?” Sam asked.

“Come on, you are honestly going to tell me that you don't even want to try it?” Dean said, “Come on Sammy, live a little, you might like it.”

“It's just not my thing Dean,” Sam said again rolling his eyes. Dean knew for a fact the rumor of people's faces getting stuck in stupid expressions wasn't true, because if it was Sam would be seeing the top of his head permanently by now.

“You're serious” Dean said, “it's not even illegal and you're still going to say no? Damn those school spirit weeks did a number on you huh? Just say no? What was that other one? I don't remember, but there was another one.” he shrugged, “you really took that shit to heart huh?” Dean turned the radio back up, letting zeppelin fill the car, The thought kept bugging him, he didn't know for sure of Sam ever even trying it, but that was stupid everyone tried it at least once. . After that the miles passed by endlessly, the highway hummed under the tires and the speakers blared. Between the next songs Dean turned the radio back down, “You seriously never even tried it?”

“Dean,” Sam sounded annoyed and it made Dean grin wider the way he said his name was almost as good as a confession.

“Come on, No secrets, have you ever even tried it.” He asked already knowing the answer.

“Fine, I tried it, and it didn't really do anything, so I don't see any reason to try it again.”

Dean shrugged, “whatever you say Stoner.”

 

Dean was pretty sure that he had the best idea ever, or maybe the worst, depending on how Sam took it. Actually thinking about it, on the scale of their bad decisions it didn't even rank. He had bought it on an impulse, saved it because once he had it, he didn't really feel like it would help. It seemed like it was cheating to take the edge of the guilt and fear he'd been feeling since they'd lost Cas.

But they weren't any closer to finding a way to save their friend, and it was a special occasion. Or at least the closest thing to one they were going to get.

The idea simmered in the back of his mind for most of the afternoon before he made an excuse to get out of the house, he came back with all the junk food that he could think of. Anything that Sam even remotely liked, which was hard, because someone on a ten year health kick didn't really leave a lot of clues on which kind of crap food they'd crave.

He wasn't really sure what he'd do if Sam said no, but he figured worst case scenario he'd have to deal with the junk food himself.

The first part was easy. He found a twelve pack of red velvet cupcakes. Not really big enough for 33 candles so he stuck just one of the “3” candles in it and called it good enough. Sam was sitting at the table in the library bathed in the blue-white glow of the laptop's monitor.

“dude, why the hell is it so dark in here,” Dean muttered flipping on the overhead lights.

Sam didn't answer. And dean was pretty sure he wasn't even listening. He pushed the laptop closed which finally got his brother's attention. “what the hell?” Sam asked, Dean sat the cupcake on top the laptop and pulled out his lighter, “Happy birthday bitch,” he said, as he tried to get the stupid short wick to catch.

Sam looked at the damn thing like it was going to bite him before smiling slightly and blowing out the candle.

“What did you wish for.”

“Nothing,” Sam answered honestly, “it's safer that way.”

“Smart,” Dean said, and pulled out the jar of Marshmallow fluff that he'd stuck a bow on, “so for the record, this stuff is disgusting, but I'm pretty sure you're the only person on the planet that can eat it on everything.”

Sam took the jar from him, “Thanks,”

“That's not all,” Dean said, this was the part he was dreading and looking forward to. He dug into his front pocket and pulled out the bag there, it was a lot fancier than the ziplock bags he'd gotten when he'd been younger. But the purpose was still the same.

He put it on the table, “I can promise it's not oregano.” Sam had that look like he was going to protest.

“Just one time with me, not with your stoner college friends.”

He can see the argument building up behind his little brother's eyes, and sure it was stupid, but it was something that he almost felt should have been his. That he should have been there at the very least to make sure Sam got the real stuff, and he wasn't going to lie to himself he was curious, he knew what sam was like drunk, knew what he was like sleepless, and running on pure adrenaline, he knew all those little things the way Sam acted when something else was influencing him, but this, this was would be something new to learn. There wasn't a lot of new experiences they were going to have that were good, or at least not bad.

“You really want me to do this?” Sam asked looking at the thing in his hand like it might bite him.

“I think it'll be fun,” Dean answered honestly.

Sam drummed his fingers on the table, and even if he said no, well at the very least Dean knew he was considering it.

“Okay,” he said at last, “but just once, then I'm done with it.”

“Fair enough,” Dean agreed breaking the seal on the bag before Sam could change his mind, “we should take this to my room then, I have an idea.”

 

Dean had to admit he felt pretty good all things considered. Pink Floyd played through his speakers, Sam's head was on his stomach and the volume was off on the tv the only light in the room, “see, I told you this was a good idea he said running his fingers through his brother's too long hair.

He watched the red flare of the burning joint between his brother's fingers and sam blew the smoke toward him, “whatever you say,” Sam answered.

“That's not how you do that.” Dean said taking it away from him. The smoke burned it's way down his throat, he was so out of practice, he really didn't need much more to be completely out of his head, but it was part of the experience. He leaned over his brother, and the angle wasn't quite right. He tilted Sam's face up toward him and let the smoke curl from between his lips. The soft inhale was almost as intoxicating as the smoke. Sam raised up closer to his lips and if he wasn't so damn high he'd think it was weird, they were practically kissing. When the smoke was gone from his lungs Dean pulled back and watched the cloud escape his brother's lips, thick in the small confines of his room. “It works a little better when you're sitting up,” Dean said quietly, “we can do it again if you want.”

Sam sat up and dean handed it over, already missing the weight of Sam on his stomach, and it was definitely weird, but it was easy to blame the weed, it'd always made him more tactile and he was pretty touch heavy as it was.

Sam's hand wrapped around the back of his neck, and fuck he was pretty sure the look in his brother's eyes was almost predatory. Sam's thumb pressed light on his bottom lip and Dean's lips parted slightly, he pretended he wasn't reacting to this all wrong, that his cock hadn't just got fractionally harder, and he wasn't half hoping Sam would go ahead and kiss him. The smoke was definitely sweeter coming from Sam's lips to his.

Sam smiled at him his eyelids heavy with the effects, “you okay?”

“Yeah,” Dean said laying his head back against the headboard, “really really good all things considered.”

“Good,” Sam said softly, “still think this was stupid,” He laid back down though spread out across Dean's bed, and Dean kind of missed being able to run his fingers through his too long hair, kind of needed the contact. His hand found it's way to Sam of it's own accord running down his neck and tangling in the soft hair that lay there. Sam didn't say anything which was probably good cause Dean couldn't have explained the urge to save his life.

“This movie is stupid,” he said a while later, “I mean, we know her, this isn't what happened,”

“that's not the point,” Dean said, and why the hell did Sam have to over analyze everything.

“is it more or less weird that our lives are a book?”

“Definitely more,” Dean said following the leap. “I mean books are a lot more gritty then movies. I mean that one book went into detail okay, like full on descriptive detail, and it's weird that there are some weird ass people out there who've read about my dick.”

“Thought your ego would love that,” Sam said and Dean watched him take another hit, jesus he should really tell him to slow down. But the thought was as close to acting on it as he was going to get.

“It's weird okay,” he looked back at the tv and wasn't even close to following what was happening there, “and it's weirder than that, I mean the girls were cool, but people that read those books think we're fucking, or that I'm fucking Cas, which is just,” he shook his head, “I mean they read the damn books they should know I'm not into guys.”

“Well, Cas isn't a guy.” Sam was apparently playing with the smoke now which was cute but stupid, Sam rolled over propping himself up on his elbow and handing it back to Dean, “Genderless wavelength thingy, whatever the hell angel's are. The vessel is a guy.”

“It's not a vessel it's Cas.”

“You keep saying that, and I'm not arguing, I'm just saying it was a 50/50 shot on him being a him, what if he'd been in a female vessel instead?”

“If she was the same otherwise, I don't know, I can't imagine a girl like that, cas is just cas. It's hard to picture him as anything but what he is.” Sam wasn't even looking at him anymore and Dean didn't feel like arguing. “Shit,” Dean muttered, “yeah, I would have at least once, but it doesn't count because we were probably about to die, I took him to a whore house to lose his virginity, if he was a woman instead, I don't think I would have done that.” Dean took another hit and tried to not give into the worry that was gnawing at him.

“Hey,” Sam whispered, “we'll fix this.”

“Yeah,” Dean said, the sudden question making him uncomfortable, “so, same question back at you, if Cas was in a girl instead of a guy, would you make a move?”

Sam shrugged, “maybe.”

“Seriously?” Dean couldn't believe that Sam would admit to it that easily, it was almost as bad as admitting he'd make a move on him as a guy, but Dean wasn't entirely sure why.

“All I said was maybe. I don't know, sometimes Cas does shit and if he was a girl it'd be really fucking cute.” Sam said, he was relaxed not defensive though and it was good to see, Dean found himself half thinking maybe it wasn't so bad to occasionally get his brother to loosen up a little.

“I guess we're both a little fucked up,” Dean said, not sure if he was talking about the drugs or the conversation.

Sam shrugged not agreement or disagreement.

“Fine,” Dean said, “I guess if you're really fucking stoned the Cas thing kind of makes sense. Only a little bit. But us, that? There's no logic in the world for that, it's just sick.”

Sam nodded, “I mean except we're not exactly normal. I mean you killed Death for me, and you sold your soul, and I mean we share heaven, so maybe it's not that surprising that they read that and think it might be more.”

“No, that's stupid,” Dean said, “I mean for one, last I check neither of us is into guys, with the maybe exception of cas, who might nto even count anyways.”

Sam was quiet for a second, “I need to tell you something.”

“Are you serious?” Dean asked, makign the jump without Sam having to say it.

“Well, not like a common thing, but I mean, before the demon, I was kind of dating Brady.”

“So when Crowley said history, he meant history.”

“Yeah,”

“Shit, and you...”

“Yeah,” Sam said again,

“Fuck Sam, I'm sorry, I didn't know.”

“Well it's not like I told you.” Sam got quiet and Dean realized at some point while they'd been talking the last of the joint had been put out in the makeshift ashtray they were using. He grabbed the book he'd been using as a rolling table, and sat up Indian style on the bed with it balanced on his legs,“You roll the next one,” Dean said. “Oh, right, you don't know how to do that do you? So fucking innocent I swear.” Dean was laughing.

“Shut up,” Sam said, “I could be like you, fucking whore.”

“You wound me,” Dean said dramatically, “it was one time, I was eighteen.”

Sam shoved him and Dean nearly fell off the bed. “Dude, you are going to make me drop this.” He muttered readjusting the book.

“You're such a fucking idiot.” Sam muttered and he rolled over to stare up at the ceiling, “this isn't so bad actually.”

“I know,” Dean said, “I tried to tell you that back in Colorado but you were too busy being too damn good to have any fun.”

Dean managed to actually get the damn thing rolled and sat the book back on the dresser. Sam sat up, “you sure that's a good idea? I mean I really don't think I need anymore.”

“It's a great idea.” Dean said, “where the hell did my lighter go?”

He found it exactly where he left it, in his front pocket. “Here Sammy,” he said lighting it, “don't forget to share.”

Sam took it from him and grabbed Dean's hand, He inhaled it fast and deep and then tugged Dean across the bed, it was probably the most awkward angle imaginable, one knee on the edge of the bed the other foot on the floor, Sam had his arm pulled almost out of socket, and dean's other hand was holding all of his weight. Dean didn't have time to be surprised before Sam pressed their lips together, Dean's parted to take in the smoke, but instead Sam's tongue pressed against his bottom lip. The taste of the smoke was thick between them, and Dean was so fucked. He let out a soft surprised sound that shifted into a groan, when Sam pulled harder pulling him closer. Fucking Christ, Dean couldn't even think to push away, the smoke was gone, thinned out between them into the air, and still he could taste it on Sam's lips, still felt the slow exploration of his tongue, and fuck if he wasn't letting it happen.

When Sam let him go, Dean stayed where he was for a second, thinking maybe when he opened his eyes everything would be the weird surreal look of a dream, because he had to have passed out, fallen asleep something.

His eyes opened slow, and Sam was still right there, close in his space, pretty eyes glazed and his lips still parted like he was thinking about going back for seconds. Dean pulled his hand back and grabbed the joint, taking as much of it into his lungs as he could, and he was glad he could blame something else, for the next choice he made, because if he was in his right mind he'd never even consider it. He crawled back onto the bed and straddled Sam' waist tilting his head up, Sam's hands locked together low on his back. Dean didn't let himself blush or hesitate when he tangled his hand in his brother's hair and pressed their lips back together.

The warm fuzzy, feeling had coiled its way through him, making him relaxed and pliant and it felt so good to have Sam so close he could feel him everywhere, the breath he pushed into his brother's lungs was more than enough to keep them both buzzing for a while. He sank down onto Sam's lap and maybe he should have felt more weird about it, but it was so fucking nice to just be kissed. It didn't even matter who was kissing him. He felt the hard rub of his cock against a firm wall of muscle and it was delicious friction. It made his cock twitch and jerk and the sick dirty wrong feeling of it was nothing compared to how good it felt. He rolled his hips and felt something else, something he'd never felt before.

Warmth pooled in his stomach, he was chasing that good feeling, somewhere between how good his dick felt and how good Sam's lips tasted. “Fuck Dean,” Sam growled softly against his lips, “you have to stop, we have to.”

“Shut up Sammy,” Dean whispered, because if they didn't say anything, they didn't have to do anything but this thing that felt really really good.

Dean lost his balance, or that's what he thought happened until his back hit the bed with Sam above him. Grinding down against him. The hard line of his brother's cock pressed against his crotch, touching everywhere and no where at once.

Sam's lips hit his neck and the rough scrap of his stubble was unlike anything that Dean had ever felt before. It was unbelievably fucking nice. He turned his head and gave better access. Thrust his hips up to rub his cock against the delicious friction again.

Sam's hand was between them his fingers working dexterously at the button, “you gotta tell me to stop,” Sam whispered his teeth nipped at Dean's ear. “you gotta tell me it's wrong, and it's sick, and we shouldn't because I need to hear you say it, I need-”

Dean shut him up with his lips, because he knew he should but he wasn't capable of caring about that. Not with how his nerves practically sang everywhere he was connected to Sam. Sam groaned against his mouth.

Dean lifted his hips to let Sam strip his jeans off, his shoes were still in the way but Sam didn't seem to care, his hand found Dean's cock and he made another desperate noise against Dean's lips. It was a line Dean never thought they'd cross, but they practically threw themselves over it. He needed more contact, needed Sam with him and to know they'd be okay when they sobered up.

Sam left him long enough to take another hit, and Dean expected him to share the smoke, instead Sam moved down the bed, his mouth left a trail of thick smoke across Dean's skin and then, that warm, wet, smoke filled mouth wrapped around the head of his cock.

They were moving too fast, and he knew it but he couldn't seem to find it in him to care, not while he was getting his dick sucked by an eager mouth. Skilled hands roamed his skin almost unerringly picking out every spot that made Dean feel like coming undone.

When Sam stopped Dean whimpered and arched up off the bed, “fuck,” Sam said softly his hands running down between Dean's thighs urging his legs up. Sam got Dean's pants the rest of the way off and then stared down at him, “you okay?”

Dean didn't think about it, if he thought about what they were doing, they might not be okay. But god as long as he still felt the buzz beneath his skin and as long as sam kept touching him he was more than okay with it. “Love you Sammy,” Dean whispered, the warmth and affection kind of catching him off guard. Sam made a surprised noise and moved to take another hit. Dean's legs were pressed up and he closed his eyes to keep from having to see what was coming next. Sam's mouth sealed over his rim and he blew.

“what the hell?” Dean yelped in surprise at the weird feeling of smoke curling into his body.

“I figured if you were going to blow smoke up my ass I'd return the favor.” Before Dean could respond he felt the alien sensation of Sam's tongue following the path the smoke had tried to take. Dean let his head fall back and his eyes fall closed, let himself just float on the high and the feel of Sam's tongue.

Sam stopped and moved back up the bed stretching out beside Dean, he took off his own pants and they lay together naked from the waist down and not touching each other, Dean rolled toward him, his leg falling over Sam's thigh, he watched the soft smirk on his brother's lips when Sam started stroking himself. Dean watched the slow steady movements of his hand, and felt his mouth go dry. When Dean licked his lips to wet them sam smiled, “you sure you're not a little bit into guys,”

“Fuck,” Dean groaned, “I don't know, I'm too damn old to be questioning this shit now,” he muttered.

Sam didn't help him out any, just continued the slow drag of his hand over the head of his cock. “it's okay,” he said after a few minutes, “it's not going to bite you.”

Dean put his hand over Sam's, following the rhythm he set, Sam moved his hand, grabbed dean's wrist and guided it to the head of his cock, “it's not like you don't know how it works,” He said laughing slightly. It was different, okay it was a lot different because it wasn't his own. Clear precum dripped from the tip and Dean leaned forward on impulse tasting it. Sam groaned, hips arching up off the bed, but he didn't try to make Dean do more than that.

The leg that Dean wasn't hold down Sam bent. Dean leaned forward and let his mouth fall open just enough to see how the tip of Sam's cock felt between this lips. Sam groaned, then licked his own fingers. Dean wasn't sure what he was doing, when Sam thrust up his cock slipping a little deeper into Dean's mouth, but the noise he made was fucking pornographic at its finest. It took all of two seconds for Dean to realize where Sam's hand had gone.

Sam moved slow, shallow thrusts into Dean's mouth, not making him take anymore than he could, then back down onto his own fingers, his breath was coming out quick and fast, and Dean would be lying to say it wasn't having one hell of an effect on him.

He pulled away long enough to take a hit off what little was left, and kissed Sam again letting the smoke fill the space between them. “That's it baby,” Dean whispered his hand following Sam's feeling where his fingers disappeared into him.

Sam moved abruptly and Dean found himself being pulled close against him, Sam's lips rough and demanding against his own. When he pulled back the words out of his mouth scared the hell out of Dean, “Can I finger you,” he whispered, “I'll make it so good for you Dean, I promise, just want to feel you.”

and if he was honest he wanted to say no, but part of him, the part that remembered that fucked out noise Sam made slipping those fingers into himself made him curious, made him want to know if it really felt as good as it sounded.

“Yeah, okay,” Dean said, smiling slightly, “I haven't actually done that before though so...”

“I got you,” Sam said, rolling them so Dean was on his back again, “not going to hurt you.” Sam's fingers were back between his legs trailing over the most intimate part of him, and it was actually making Dean really fucking nervous. He knew Sam wouldn't hurt him on purpose, but it wasn't something he'd ever really considered before.

Sam pulled his hand away, and Dean watched him spit thickly into his palm, there was something kind of gross about it, despite the fact he'd used the same lube technique a hundred times himself. Sam smeared his spit between Dean's legs. Dean tensed expecting him to just go for it. Sam kissed him again, “relax,” He whispered, Dean reached for the joint and sucked down a lungful of smoke like it was going to make it easier or make it better. He could feel the seeking press of one finger, Sam bit down on his neck, and Dean arched into it, felt the weird slide of something entering his body for the first time. “Shh,” Sam whispered, and Dean realized he'd been making a weird keening noise.

“just get use to that, then I'll give you more.”

He didn't know that he could take more, but for Sam he was willing to try.

It took him a minute to adjust then he was rocking his hips getting use to the feel a little more, feeling the way Sam's finger slid along inside him so easy and smooth. Sam pulled his finger out, “so good for me Dean,” He whispered, “riding my pinkie so good,” fuck dean blushed, but didn't answer, “going to give you something bigger, okay?” he whispered, “going to find your prostate.”

Dean didn't mean to but he practically screamed when Sam pushed his finger back into him. He felt every inch of it sliding into him, and how the fuck was he suppose to get use to something like that? Sam was kissing him again, soft plaintive kisses against his lips and then up over his cheeks and nose, it took a second, but dean realized each kiss was peppered with Sam talking,, praises and promises and then sam moved his hand just a fraction of an inch. Dean barely got his hand clamped on the base of his cock, so close to cumming. Sam stopped moving completely and Dean wasn't sure whether he was relieved or not. When Dean felt the edge receed Sam whispered, “want to see if you can take more?”

Dean nodded, and Sam moved down his mouth wrapped around his cock a second finger nudged against his rim, and Dean didn't know how it would ever fit inside him, but he found himself pressing back slightly, trying to relax and take it in. Sam gave a quiet sound of approval and dean felt him push past the resistance. He didn't think anything that big could fit inside him, and he was glad for the distraction of Sam's mouth. Sam again stopped moving his fingers as soon as they were all the way inside, instead he focused all his attention on sucking Dean's cock.

When he stopped he looked up at Dean with pink swollen lips, “doing so good for me,” he said, “can't believe how good you take it Dean.”

Dean flushed at the praise, “Want to fuck you,” He whispered, “want to feel you cum on my cock.”

It was the kind of cheesy crap that Dean heard in porn, and never the kind of thing he expected to be said to him, he didn't answer, didn't even know how he would.

Sam's eyes flicked away from him, “do you want me to be the first, or would you rather it be someone else?”

“Fuck Sammy,” Dean groaned, “I don't know. I can't think straight.”

“We can do it the other way,” Sam offered, “I don't mind.”

“It's your birthday,” Dean whispered, “we can try it, if it hurts, or doesn't feel good, or whatever, we'll stop and do it the other way okay?”

Sam smiled brightly, then the fingers in Dean started moving again, slowly working him open. “Okay,” Sam said after an impossibly short and not nearly fast enough amount of time later, “Going to...” Dean felt the blunt head against his rim.

“Shh, relax, breath out for me, big breaths, not going to move till you're ready,” Dean nodded, “how about on three just put it in me, I'll adjust.”

“Okay,” Sam whispered, “one,” He met Dean's eyes, “two” Dean let out the breath he'd been holding just as Sam pushed forward, he only pushed in a couple inches before he stopped. Dean knew he was digging claw marks into his brother's shoulders, but Sam didn't seem to mind.

“Fuck, Dean, so fucking tight,” he whispered.

Dean smiled in spite of how fucking weird it was. He breathed out a few quick hard breaths, each one his body relaxed a little more and it felt a little easier. Fuck he'd seen porn before seen girls taking it like they loved it, and a few guys also, but it was a lot different, when it was his ass that was about to get pounded.

He was quickly losing his buzz and it was not at all helping the situation. Sam kissed him lips soft and pliant and begging Dean to relax and let him in. It was so fucked up, he'd been through hell and back for his little brother, this was nothing compared to that. He smiled slightly and pushed back, Sam groaned when he slid in a couple more inches. Dean moved because he could, because the look on Sam's face was worth the discomfort. It changed quickly when he was in charge, moving when and how he wanted. The weird stretched feeling stopped aching and started feeling something smoother, the resistance gave and Sam moved in him easily. Where it started as something he could endure when he found a good rhythm that had Sam rubbing against his prostate on every inward thrust, it became something better, something he might actually be able to enjoy.

When Sam's spit slick hand wrapped around his cock he was pretty sure he'd died and gone to heaven. Or something better, the orgasm built quickly and had him shaken to his core. Sam thrust into him through it, rode it out and then pulled out of Dean quickly before he could become too sensitive, boneless he lay back and watched Sam stroke himself off. Sam pushed the tip back into Dean quickly it hurt more than anything else he'd done, but Dean didn't make a sound, he blushed scarlet feeling the wet pulse inside him, not deep but god it was there, Sam was cumming inside him.

It was lying in the dark afterwards that the world started refocusing a little Dean laughed.

“What?” Sam asked not looking at him.

“Okay, so that's what I've been missing?”

“It's not the worst thing in the world.” Sam agreed, “when it's done right.” He didn't elaborate and Dean pushed the thought of why Sam would make that distinction out of his mind.

“I mean, I'm not into guys.”

“Yeah?” Sam asked, “you seem pretty into it.”

“Just you Sammy,” Dean whispered, “and maybe Cas.”

“Thought you said it was sick.” Sam asked laughing slightly still sounding stoned out of his mind.

“It is,” Dean agreed, “but then we're not exactly normal anyways, I figure we save the world again, we're entitled to a little sickness.”

Sam was drifting off, and Dean found himself hoping that when he woke up, when the high was out of his system he wouldn't regret it.

“Hey Sammy?” he whispered, half afraid to break the silence.

“Yeah?”

“Happy Birthday.”

“You to,” Sam whispered and rolled toward him, slinging his leg over Dean's hip, “next time you get to do all the work.”

“There's going to be a next time?” Dean asked a little surprised.

“only if you shut the fuck up and let me sleep.” Sam muttered and pressed another kiss against his jaw.

“Night Sammy,” Dean said again.

Sam mumbled some half reply, snuggling in closer.

“So about Cas?” Dean started, not sure what he was asking.

“We'll figure that out when we get him back.” Sam promised, placed his hand over Dean's mouth and said.

It was still sick and kind of fucked up, but they were more than just brothers, they always had been. Dean found himself drifting somewhere toward sleep remembering a version of Cas in a future that had never happened. A version that he didn't think would mind sharing, and wondered how close that Cas was to the one they were trying to save.

 

 


	2. Sastiel and Dean's Gun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam's a little reckless thinking Dean just died again.   
> Cas tries to help.

The bunker was too quiet without Dean. It had only been a few hours but it seemed like a lifetime. Cas found Sam sitting in his brothers room, Dean's gun between his lips.

“Sam?” He said his name softly, “what are you doing in here?”

“Just waiting for Dean to show up.” Sam whispered, lowering he gun he held and looking down at it. “Got everything in here but the car, he should be here.”

“Dean's not coming Sam,” Cas whispered, “you saw the sun, you know what it meant.”

Sam nodded, “he'll come back. He always comes back.”

“If he doesn't?” Cas asked softly moving closer to him, wanting to reach out and somehow take some of the pain that Sam was feeling away, but he didn't know how.

Sam's finger trailed absentmindedly over the trigger, “then I'll go to him.”

Cas pried the gun out of his hand, Sam let it go reluctantly and watched Cas lay it just out of reach.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Cas asked, sitting next to him.

“No,” Sam answered not looking at him, “I failed again, I was suppose to be the one to take her out so Dean didn't have to, and now, he's gone. So what am I suppose to do?”

They sat in silence for a while until Sam whispered, “This wasn't suppose to happen.”

'I know,” Cas said and he did know. “I'm here, for whatever you need.”

“Did Dean talk to you?” He asked, “about us?”

“He told me that I'm your best friend, and you think of me as a brother.”

Sam snorted, “of course he did,” Sam twisted, “did he also tell you we were having sex,” Sam rolled his eyes, “he was suppose to ask if you wanted in.”

Cas wasn't sure he understood what Sam was saying. And Sam didn't seem too intent on clarifying.

“Dean was suppose to ask if I – ”

“Wanted to have sex with us.” Sam said. He sighed and stood up, “I'm going to get out of here for a while, it's okay if you don't want to stick around.”

Impulse control probably wasn't on the list of things Cas was known for, he had a feeling that the last thing Sam needed was left alone for even a minute, He stopped Sam from getting out the door. A quick and rough kiss that Sam returned equally roughly.

“How do you want me?” Cas asked searching Sam's face for some hint of what he was thinking.

“Rough,” Sam said, “it's okay if you hurt me.”

“Okay,” Cas said softly one hand trailing through Sam's hair and down his neck, he squeezed lightly and watched the way Sam's eyes drifted closed in quiet acceptance. “Is there anything you're not okay with?”

Sam shook his head, “you could kill me right now, I wouldn't stop you.”

“I know.” Cas said gently, “it's going to be okay, I'm going to take care of you.” He increased the pressure just enough to see Sam's pulse pick up a step, saw him fighting the urge to fight back. He let go. Watched the disappointment play on Sam's face.

“Take your clothes off and get on the bed.” Cas whispered.

When Sam didn't move he shoved him that direction hard enough to almost make him trip. “Now, boy.” Cas whispered it low and dangerous.

Cas picked up the gun where he left it and watched Sam strip out of his clothes slowly like he wasn't in anything resembling a hurry.

Cas waited until Sam was stripped bare in front of him before moving close enough to press the gun against the soft spot beneath his jaw, Sam's eyes closed. “Is this what you want?” Cas asked gently, “for me to put you out of your misery?”

Sam didn't answer but Cas could see the tears gathered in his eyes threatening to spill over. Cas directed him where he wanted him on the bed. Cas pressed the gun barrel against his mouth and watched Sam's lips part slightly.

“This what you want Sam? Me to force your brother's gun in your mouth, make you swallow a bullet for not being able to save him? Think it's what you deserve?”

Sam didn't answer but a low groan came from him answering more than words ever could.

“You know this isn't what I want,” Cas whispered, “I want to tell you how wonderful you are, and how loved you are, and how good you are, but you won't hear it will you?”

He pulled the gun away let his hands roam down the miles of skin spread out in front of him. Sam grabbed his hand and guided it the hard length of him.

“Please Cas,” He whispered, his voice soft and desperate.

“I'm going to take care of you,” Cas said, taking Sam's hand and putting it flat on the bed next to him, he tapped Sam's knee with the barrel of the gun and Sam moved his leg making room for Cas between them. He didn't move between them immediately left Sam waiting while he searched through Dean's stuff for something to ease the way.

It was a few seconds before he was back, fingertips slick with lube, seeking between his lover's legs. He shoved two fingers in quick and deep without warning, and listened to the shocked gasp from Sam's lungs.

The sounds from Sam were going to drive him crazy before he really got where he wanted to go. He pulled away and held up the gun, “this might hurt. be very, very still or it might go off.”

“Seriously?” Sam asked the first time looking surprised at the suggestion.

“Unless you ask me not to,” Cas said, and waited for him to take the offered out, wanting him to take it. But Sam closed his eyes and lay back against Dean's pillows his eyes closed. Cas rubbed the barrel of the gun against his rim waited a fraction of a second before he pushed just enough to let Sam feel it.

“This is probably going to hurt,”Cas whispered again reminding him that he just had to say the word and Cas would stop.

“Good,” Sam answered equally softly.

Cas eased it into him all the way to the trigger guard, felt each tremble and gasp it tore from Sam. Felt sick with how wrong and twisted and absolutely fucking hot it was.

“You look good like this.” he said moving just a fraction of an inch, dragging one of those delicious moans from Sam. He wanted to make it easier, make him feel good.

Instead he pulled the gun out a fraction of an inch and watched the way Sam's leg trembled. He wanted more.

He grabbed Sam's hand and guided it to the grip, “show me how you want it, but keep your fucking hand off that trigger or I'll kick your ass.”

He saw the pink flush flood Sam's face, but he started moving almost immediately pulling his legs farther apart to give Cas a better view of the polished metal sliding out of him slowly before being pushed roughly back in as far as it would go. Sam was neither slow nor gentle with it an it made Cas cringe a little thinking how sore he was going to end up later.

Cas stripped his clothes off and dropped them next to Sam's on the floor. He crawled back between his hunter's legs and pulled his hand away. Cas took over for a few quick seconds feeling how easily Sam was taking the unforgiving metal.

He pulled it out completely and moved it far out of reach.

“Good,” Cas whispered and lined himself up with Sam's lube slick hole. “Be still, he growled.” His other hand wrapped around the hunter's neck and squeezed just hard enough to let him know he meant it.

The desperate sound that Sam let slip was almost the end of it but Cas focused instead on letting himself slid slowly into the warm, wet body.

“so good for me,” he whispered punctuating it with a quick rough thrust.

“Harder,” Sam whispered his eyes closed.

“No.” Cas said, the grip he had on the hunter's neck tightened fractionally making it harder for him to breath, “you'll take what I give you.”

Sam moaned, his eyes closed and back arched up off the bed.

Cas was careful moving in slow thrusts seeing how Sam reacted to the different angles. It was weird, to be using a really rough persona because it's what Sam seemed to want, when all Cas wanted to do was curl around him an promise to protect him, to promise to be there no matter what, instead he kissed his jaw and squeezed again.

“Please,” Sam gasped.

Please stop or please more wasn't really specified so it was pretty damn hard for Cas to tell if he was still okay.

He eased his hand away a fraction of an inch.

“Please what?” Cas asked giving him enough air to speak.

Sam didn't answer instead his nails raked roughly down Cas' shoulder leaving a stinging line there. He retaliated by squeezing harder thrusting in a quick rough couple times and repeated, “please what?” He felt almost drunk on the control that Sam had handed over, not fighting him even as Cas knew they had to have crossed a half a dozen lines already.

“Gonna cum,” Sam gasped, “just god don't stop.”

“Wasn't thinking about it,” Cas whispered his hand moved down to wrap around Sam's cock. “Cum for me,” He whispered, “want to see how much you like this”

“Oh fuck,” Sam gasped and then Cas was overwhelmed by the hard tight squeezing around his own cock even as Sam was arching up off the bed and whimpering Cas' name.

Cas didn't slow down even when Sam started making small noises of discomfort. Instead he reached for the gun again, “shut up, and be still.” he said pointing it at his temple, then Cas was racing toward his own pleasure, feeling how good Sam felt around him. The way he was moving with Cas despite being told not to move, thrusting back like he wasn't sore an over sensitive from his own orgasm.

“Gonna cum in you okay Sam?” Cas whispered, so close to the edge he wasn't sure he'd have time to stop if Sam said no. instead he nodded, “please Cas,” he said softly, “let me feel you cum.”

that was it, it was over and there was nothing he ever could have done to stop it. The gun was still pressed against Sam's head, it didn't matter, Sam held his eyes looking defiant an aroused more than anything else. It was better than the desperation and despair from when he'd first walked into the room.

Cas wasn't in a hurry to move though he rolled his hips lazily another time just for the way Sam's eyes drifted closed.

“Jesus Christ, you couldn't have waited like an hour?” Dean asked from the door way.

Cas saw the smile break across Sam's face, felt the joy yin it echoing in himself, and then he turned to look at Dean, alive, in one piece and grinning rather than looking upset, “sorry Dean,” Cas said softly, “Just trying to take care of your brother, like you asked me to do, remember?”

Dean moved to the bed stripping his shirt off of him as he went. “I don't remember telling you to use my fucking gun to do it.” Dean muttered under his breath, it didn't matter though because the next instant he was kissing Sam, one hand tangled in his hair forcing his neck into a hard arch, “miss me bitch?” Dean asked.

Sam shrugged, then pulled him down into a crushing hug, before lying, “I didn't even realize you were gone.”

 


End file.
